Depeche Mode :: It Doesn’t Matter

Posted: November 5, 2012 in Songs
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Depeche Mode :: It Doesn’t Matter
Available on Amazon: MP3 | Album | CD

Bittersweet, but sweet all the same. It took more than 10 years for this song to fit and find a place in my life. The first time I heard of Depeche Mode was when I caught the video for “Somebody” on MTV in the 80’s. I remember looking over to see what sweet thing was crooning from the television. It turned out to be Martin Gore and for the longest time, I thought he was the lead singer. I picked up Some Great Reward a few years later and was immediately lost. I fell in love with the song then, but the lyrics didn’t apply until much later on.

I am warmed by your friendship even when you’re far away
And I’m happy in the knowledge we may never see the day
When I kiss you, and you kiss me, don’t pretend you miss me
The worst kind of diseased mind is one filled with jealousy

It happened gradually. There were no fireworks, no signals, just a vague connection, a recognition. Teasing turned into stories. Banter to easy laughter. At some point, secrets started to spill. Comfort was sought and given. On the surface, the same though the unspoken went deeper. No words were said. None were needed. A look, a nod, conveyed so much more. Proximity was irrelevant. Physicality was nonexistent. But the knowledge was there, and mutual.

It was a friendship built on acceptance, moments of freedom, escape, and understanding. Circumstances, emotions, responsibilities crossed but never clashed, because of that same understanding. Still, guilt started to creep in, bringing the inevitable fear. Reality eventually caught up and Neverland was lost.

Meeting was inevitable. Parting equally pre-ordained. There was never any hope, yet there is no room for regret. The gift was already given. The memories will always remain.

It doesn’t matter, if this all shatters
Nothing lasts forever
But I’m praying, that we’re staying
Together

I know you’ll never read this but thank you all the same. You noticed the scars but never mentioned them. You gave me shelter when I craved the rain. You saw past the walls and coaxed out light even I thought was buried. Neither time nor distance can ever change that and I will be forever grateful.

xx

Originally posted here.

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