Archive for December, 2012

John Flanagan :: Tomorrow

Posted: December 31, 2012 in Songs

John Flanagan :: Tomorrow
Available on Amazon: MP3 | EP

This song found me in the quiet moments between Christmas & New Year’s, when the rush of the holiday gifting ended, before the end-of-the-year celebrations began. It starts off with a music box, sweet and calming at first, like a lullaby. The first verse speaks of light and love. John’s voice is angelic. Then the drums come in. The song takes a turn. Hope turns to dread. The angel falls, the vocals taking on an edge. Soft piano is overcome by guitars, leading to a wailing solo. In the end, the music box finds its voice. The angel picks himself up and starts to walk again. It’s the perfect background to reflect on the year past, to prepare for the year ahead.

She came to me as in a dream, I didn’t know if I should follow
But I did, and when I did, she told me of the world tomorrow.

Looking back, this year has opened up so many doors. I found myself in situations and places I never thought I would, with people I came to love and admire. I realized, perhaps for the first time, that I could dream, dream big, and take steps to make those dreams a reality. The world became exciting again, full of possibility and wonder. I didn’t have to just endure or survive. I could actually live if I so chose.

“Tomorrow there’ll be light,” she said. “The light of love that’s yet to come.”
Across the land all was alive. The victory that love had won.

But then, a few days ago, I received a late Christmas present from my ex- an order to appear in court to raise the spousal support he is receiving from me. (more…)


London After Midnight :: The Christmas Song
Available on Amazon: MP3 | Album | CD

This song missed my Holiday Mixtape post because… I don’t think of it as a Christmas song. Despite its title, it’s not a song that conjures up warm and fuzzy feelings with sleigh bells and hot cocoa and Christmas dinners. Though I listen to it during the holidays, the meaning is much deeper than that, and takes me to a different place in my memories.

In this world of snow and cold I’ll hide,
In this world of ice I’ve built with pride

While I was married, I retreated into my head, tried to keep what was left of my sanity safe despite what was going on around me. I became numb, indifferent, a veritable zombie on the outside. Two things enabled me to see what I was doing to myself before I stopped caring about even that. The first were the lyrics above. The second was a passage from Magic’s Pawn by Mercedes Lackey:

“If no one touches me–no one can hurt me. All I have to do is never care.”

It was like a revelation, a gift from the hithertouncaring gods. This place, this wilderness of ice–if he could hold it inside him–if he could not-care enough–he could be safe.

Two scenarios, from two completely different sources, using the two most significant forms of media in my life at the time. (more…)

Paloma Faith :: Stargazer

Posted: December 20, 2012 in Songs

Paloma Faith :: Stargazer
Available on Amazon: MP3 | Album | CD

Undoubtedly my favorite song on the album but I almost didn’t post it as I couldn’t get past the lyrics. They’re beautiful. Poetic. Sappy. Actually, sappy isn’t the right word. It’s more… needy, a trait I’ve been trying to shake since last year. But that’s only at first glance.

He was a star collector, she knew about the skies.
He was a tight-rope walker, she was the talk of the town.
While he was in the clouds he’d show her the signs and he’d know what they mean…
Twinkle twinkle, little dream.

A deeper analysis shows a story of bad timing. In the beginning, she was the sun and he was the follower. Then when he found his space, she became the one who looked up at the sky. (more…)

Gotye :: Bronte

Posted: December 10, 2012 in Songs

Gotye :: Bronte
Available on Amazon: MP3 | Album | CD

Last year, I fell into Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” along with the rest of the world. It was everything I’d felt about my ex at the time, down to the guilt, the blame, and the random dropoffs of possessions by other parties. After I recovered (and it got overplayed), I went through the rest of the album. There was some amazing stuff there including “Eyes Wide Open” and “I Feel Better” but it was “Bronte” that stood out most.

Now your bowl is empty
And your feet are cold
And your body cannot stop rocking
I know… it hurts to let go

I first heard it with the video. While the animation has a very Princess Mononoke feel to it, a bit of research revealed that “Bronte” is actually about the passing of a family dog. The knowledge that these words were real, that they described an actual creature being put down, tugged at my heartstrings. But I found all of that out after the song had already grabbed me.

Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed and upset, I pull into myself, separating that ball of hurt from the face I show outside. (more…)

I was going to rank my top 5 holiday songs and devote a post to each. I started with “Do They Know It’s Christmas.” But then I couldn’t ignore my other favorites. So here they are in no particular order:

Extreme :: Christmas Time Again
Gackt :: 12月のLove Song [ December Love Song ]
David Bowie & Bing Crosby :: Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth
B’z :: Itsuka no Merry Christmas
The Kinks :: Father Christmas
Cryptkeeper :: Revenge of the Cryptkeeper
NKOTB :: I Still Believe In Santa Claus
TVXQ :: Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring/Magic Castle
Adam Sandler :: The Chanukah Song
Star Wars :: The Meaning of Christmas
—– (more…)