Annalise Emerick :: This Love Won’t Break Your Heart

Posted: January 2, 2013 in Songs

Annalise Emerick :: This Love Won’t Break Your Heart
Available on Amazon: MP3 | EP | CD

This song is exactly how I want to spend New Year’s next year- with people who nourish my soul and allow me into their lives to do the same. In 2013, I want to surround myself in love and light, and bring the same to those around me.

2 minutes ‘till its midnight, we’ve been drinking since the sun went down
Everyone’s been kissing, throwing love around

Love is such a tricky word. For years, it was used against me. To manipulate, control, and eventually break me.

“I love you more than anything.”
“I love you so much, I can’t live without you.”
“You’ll never find anyone who’ll love you as much as I do.”

It was never love, it was control. It was ownership. It was possession. “Love” became a leash. “Love” turned into chains. It became synonymous with fear. With threats. With guilt. With shame. I turned away from my family, from my friends, because of “love.”

If you were lonely, give it up, ‘cause here we are
This is the kind of love that doesn’t break your heart

The last two years have been a slow and sometimes painful reminder that love is none of those things. Love heals. Love encourages. Love accepts. Love is unconditional. Through my forgiving family to my ever-patient friends, I’ve begun to rediscover and remember.

For auld lang syne, my dear, for all of us right here
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, and toast to the new year

It’s been a long road. And the journey ahead is even longer. Part of me wishes I could have heard this song long ago. Even if I had though, I may not have been ready. I still haven’t forgiven myself completely. Even then, it took time for me to forgive myself. For not seeking help sooner. For believing his lies. For not believing in myself and those who loved me. For thinking I was alone. For hurting everyone in the process. I want to work towards that this year. To open my heart to love. Not necessarily in the romantic sense, but to this, the kind of love that doesn’t hurt, that doesn’t use or abuse. And to learn perhaps the hardest lesson of all- to love myself.



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