Queen :: Don’t Stop Me Now

Posted: March 9, 2013 in Songs


Queen :: Don’t Stop Me Now
Available on Amazon: MP3 | Album | CD

This song has become associated with one of the greatest highs I’ve ever had. It will also forever remind me of a certain boy and girl, who by example have taught me a great deal about being confident, strong, and comfortable in your own skin. They’re not perfect, they have their flaws. But they have guts and strength, kindness and honor, confidence and humility. Qualities I admire and would like to assimilate.

After the divorce, I became obsessed with re-learning how to function in “normal” society, endlessly debating what “normal” meant, and eventually deciding “normal” could sod off as it wasn’t me. I decided to “find” myself but consistently relied on others to tell me what that was. I tried to become everything to everyone and failed miserably. I started to believe that there had to be a magical group of people out there who would accept everything about me, though even I didn’t know. Despite the constant support of friends and family, I didn’t feel like I truly belonged anywhere.

It’s easy to blame my controlling marriage for essentially turning me into a zombie over the course of ten years. I turned off, stopped feeling until the only thing left was anger that would explode when pushed too hard. In truth, he’s not the only one to blame. I allowed myself to become a monster. With freedom came fear. I didn’t know what to do, what to think, how to be without someone dictating it. Everything became an unknown. Except music and the people I’d met through it.

Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it’s turning inside out Yeah!
I’m floating around in ecstasy
So don’t stop me now don’t stop me
‘Cause I’m having a good time having a good time

That night, I found myself out with a group that included this boy. And this girl. We ended up at a bar even though half of us didn’t drink. I wish I could but I’m allergic. Most of my friends enjoy it, even need it to relax. I’m the permanent designated driver, constantly waiting for people to get buzzed enough to dance with me. That’s my other issue. When music hits, I have to move no matter how stupid I might look. Most of my friends tolerate it but I still feel alienated when I end up dancing alone.

With this group, none of that mattered. This song came on. It was like magic.

We started singing. There were more antics, much of it smothered with laughter. Another song came after it, dedicated to me. A song that made us all get up and dance. We let go. Had fun. I lost myself in it. And it wasn’t just me this time. It was everyone. I couldn’t believe it. I’d never felt so at ease. I’d never felt so high.

I’m a shooting star leaping through the skies
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I’m a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I’m gonna go go go
There’s no stopping me

Between everyone in our group that night, I learned that I didn’t have to follow someone else’s drum in order to be accepted. I just had to follow my own. I’m still very awkward. I’m still learning how to talk, to react. I still make a lot of mistakes. But in that moment, none of that mattered. They found me. And I didn’t have to be something I wasn’t.

I realize this song isn’t exactly for the sober mentality. But music is truly my drug. For me, this is it. This is as intoxicated as I get. For me, the song is about life. Living it, regardless of who or what or when or where. It’s about choosing to fly, regardless of what your wings are or what condition they’re in. And if people look at me funny because I think I’m a tiger and I’m on my way to Mars, then they’re the ones missing out.

Don’t stop me now I’m having such a good time
I’m having a ball don’t stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don’t stop me now (‘Cause I’m having a good time)
Don’t stop me now (Yes I’m having a good time)
I don’t want to stop at all

I’ll never forget that night, or this song because that’s what started it. To Mr. Fahrenheit and the Supersonic Woman. To the midwestern soldier and the lawyer with the heart of gold.

Thank you for that moment, forever.

xx

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s