French Wives :: Younger

Posted: May 14, 2014 in Songs

French Wives :: Younger
Available on Amazon: MP3 | Album

I walk these crowded hallways
I curse the ground beneath my seat
I’m on my faded glamour
I feel ungracious in defeat

Some days in LA are better than others. Some days, I can dance on the sidewalks- slightly slick from the rain, glistening with the lights from random marquees. Some days, I hunch over and hurry along, unwilling to make eye contact and cringing when someone tries a pickup line on me. Some days I’m bursting to full with dreams. Some days they’re dashed on my feet. But that’s all part of the experience.

It’s an experiment
It’s not a masterpiece
You will discover this
You will eventually

Yesterday is what I’d consider a near perfect day in LA at this particular stage in my life. It was an invigorating mix of exercise, work, play and a kind of magic you can’t find anywhere else but here. I want to say that every day should be like this but as wonderful as that would be, I don’t want to stagnate. I just want to savor the moment and file it away to remember later.

I want my spark back
I need my torch lit
I don’t approach the hill
I feel I’m over it

The morning began with an early hike up Runyon Canyon. I had been out late with friends the night before so I had already doubted my ability to wake up before the day got too hot. But 7AM saw me more or less conscious so I crawled out of the comfy, warm cocoon of bed and ventured out.

We need our luck changed
We need some blind faith
Your have your upswings
I have my down days

Since I discovered its existence, I’ve always had a vague desire to go to Runyon. However, I have a slight aversion to the outdoors and didn’t know anyone else who would go. Until now. My first time was with a friend who can make it to the top of Cloud’s Rest in about 10 minutes on the intermediate trail. It was good to go with a veteran though I slowed his leaping gazelle pace to asthmatic turtle. Despite his patient encouragement, there was a point where I seriously considered curling up on the ground unless he carried me. I made it up on my own two legs however. From then on, I was hooked.

Maybe our future lies
Within the point of view
Everyone likes you
Nobody loves you

The second time, I took a different friend who had never been up but also always wanted to go. We made it but we both struggled through the same trail. This third time, I was on my own. I was fully convinced I’d chicken out and take the easy trail or turn back at Inspiration Point. I’m proud to say I didn’t do either. It still took a half hour but I climbed up to Cloud’s Rest on my own. To be able to make it up was almost as heady as being able to stare out from the top, all the way to the ocean past Santa Monica. It felt like I had literally conquered some mountain.

I will stake my flag in the road where it bends
It was just the start when it felt like the end

After the hike, I headed home- just the thought of being able to call a place “home” in LA is still a novelty that hasn’t worn off- to shower and play a bit with the cat (cat!!) before heading to work. Nothing particularly eventful happened but it was a good day- productive, which is a feat in itself sometimes.

I wish I had started younger
I wish that I didn’t feel so weak
I wish I had found my marker
I wish I had started younger

The LA magic happened after that, at a movie premiere I had to cover as press. Just getting in to any movie premiere was amazing enough. What I didn’t realize was that the stars of the movie would actually be there. The film was better than I’d hoped and we got to mingle with the cast and crew afterward. Though my shyness ended up getting the better of me, I was able to muster up actual words when they were needed. Not my most stellar performance but I can live with it.

When I lay my head
When I find my home
When I’m in the arms of those I know

From the theater, I walked (walked!?) to another venue where one of my fave local bands, Night Riots, was playing a free show. They were one of the highlights in my SXSW recap. I was a few minutes late but ultimately had a good night with excellent music. Since it wasn’t too late, I was able to take the Metro back and had a bit of time to myself to blast some tunes and dance around the apartment before turning in.

When all is said
When all is done
You did your best
You gave your all

On those days when the road seems the darkest, I want to remember this day. This moment. Where nothing was perfect, yet everything was good. It’s good to know that days like this are possible, even if I have to turn one around. Nothing is ever set in stone. Hills can be overcome. You just might need a bit of training. And cheerleading gazelle.



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